The 7 Stages of Working from Home with Your Partner
Since lockdown began, many of us will find outrelves sitting across from a new coworker (our partners). The idea of working from home with your partner might sound fun, but as time goes on every single breath they take will irritate the f*ck out of you.
Here’s the 7 stages of working from home with your partner, hands up if you can relate 🙋
The novelty stage. For the first week or so, the novelty of working from home with your partner was still going strong. You were making jokes about being co-workers, taking turn to make the brews and having a laugh.
You are enjoying each other’s company, but the productivity levels begin to dwindle. Bae is sat accross from you watching TikToks on full volume, you are just thinking about what extravagant breakfast you can make WFH. Pancakes on a Monday? Why not?
You overheard your partner on zoom calls and they start using phrases such as ‘Let’s circle back’ and ‘Loop me in’. You realise that they have a phone voice and it really annoys you, but you stay quiet and let them get on with their work.
You start taking slightly different lunch breaks so that you can have the TV to yourself without your partner chatting over the top of it and generally annoying you with their presence. The brew rounds are no longer a thing, you vaguely mention something about a ‘cuppa’ and hope they don’t hear you properly, so at least you can say you offered.
You decide that you might be more productive in different rooms, so you take your laptop from the dining room table and set up office in the spare room. You can still hear their emails dinging from the other room. Every ding makes you hate them more and more.
Every day of working from home with your partner is a battle. You get bored, you slope into their working space, distract them for ten minutes and then get annoyed when they do it to you. You talk to each other about how busy you are, but you just sit in separate rooms scrolling Instagram for hours.
They are no longer your partner, just a co worker that you occasionally nod to when you pass on the way to the toilet. Small talk in the kitchen happens, before you slope off for your next conference call. As soon as it hits 5 o clock, the doom and gloom is over and you burst in to your former colleague with the age-old question of ‘What’s for dinner?’.
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