Ready for your next fix of juicy one night stand stories? Of course you are. These hero girls have volunteered their own stories, so your ONS disasters don’t seem half as bad.
We took to Twitter to find out the very best (and worse) stories from Missguided customers. Remember to check back for part 3 (coming soon).
Embarassing One Night Stands
I accidentally knocked a guys front tooth out during sex (it was a fake one to begin with) so the next morning he had to call the emergency dentist to get it glued back in.
Long story short, I was on top and my mum barged into my room and tried dragging me off this lad. She was saying ‘how dare I sleep with one of her friends’ (it was NOT one of her friends)… once she realised this, she calmed down and just walked out. The guy got up and left, cheers Mum.
During a one night stand we were talking dirty and the guy I was with said he hadn’t talked dirty before. I told him to just go with the flow and he said ‘you’re so hot’. I still wanted a bit more from him, so I said ‘what would you do to me’ and his response was ‘I’d cook rice in you’. We had to stop because I was laughing so much, you can’t make that shit up.
Me and my mate pulled two guys and went back to her place with them, after drinking more she went to the bedroom with her chosen one and I was left with the other in the living room. Long story short, as we were getting down to it, I sneezed on the way to kiss him. I accidentally head butted him and knocked myself out. When I came around the next morning, my friend and her fella were stood a the living room door, watching me as I lay on the sofa with one tit hanging out. Not only did I knock myself out, but I also snotted in the guy’s face too. He obviously left pretty sharpish and I can’t even remember his name.
I went home with a guy who had really fluffy rag doll cats. He was hugging them, talking to them and kissing them for ages. I probably should have left then because it kinda creeped me out how obsessed he was with these cats. Anyhow, we slept together and it turned out that I was massively allergic to his cats and I woke up at 6am with a swollen face & lips (from where he had kissed the cat and then me, gross). I grabbed my clothes and tried to quietly escape but he got up just as I was halfway out the door and asked where I was going. I couldn’t even look at him and basically ran away. Funnily enough I haven’t heard from him again.
So, I matched with this guy Ezra and tinder, hit it off great and he came over to mine that night. After a little small talk we got down to business and had some really boring sex, after which he went to the bathroom. I heard him gagging and throwing up and when he came back I asked if he was okay. He proceeded to tell me that he had recently broken up with his gf and felt so guilty about a one night stand, it made him throw up. He went into great detail about the breakup and one night stands and meaningless hook ups are terrible. To make things worse, he actually made me read emails between him and his ex about the breakup. This went on for over an hour, bearing in mind, I was still sat in bed naked.
I finally got him out the door and he thanked me for my help and said he was gonna try to make things work with this girl! Aaaaand if that wasn’t bad enough, he pops up on my tinder again a month later but he isn’t called Ezra, he’s called Lewis! Who even is he?
My friend and I went back to a boy’s uni halls after a night out and all ate our en-of-night Subway in his kitchen. His halls was horrible, he had a single bed with a sink in his room and a shared bathroom that you needed his key to unlock. Me and one of the boys went off to bed, did the deed then fell asleep (in his cramped single bed). I woke up a couple of hours later needing to be sick. I spent so long trying to wake him up, but it was too late. I ran over to the sink in his room and threw up my tuna Subway. My friend walked in and asked to leave so I just said yeah and left my sick in his sink
Who says romance isn’t dead? No matter what happens on your next one night stand, at least you can still look fire in a cute matching lingerie set.
If you liked this, take a look at our sex confessions part 1.